Friday, November 10, 2006
apples again
We eventually produced 3 litres of a liquid. In a month's time Henry and I will find out if it is drinkable.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Millenium Revisited
I wrote this back in 1999. Thankfully I was wrong...funny... but wrong.. Or was I? The latest prediction I found when doing a search in 1999 was that the world would end in 2006, so there is time yet....Not much mind, but George Bush is eager to make sure we meet the deadline isn't he?
MILLENIUM
Whenever Robbie Williams sings, “we’ve got stars directing our fate,” I come over all homicidal. My skin starts to crawl. I get a sudden urge to grab that microphone and shove it somewhere unprintable. That would give the little fresh-faced, scallywag, pop-meister something to really cry to the angels about.
But perhaps I should be more charitable, because after all, there isn’t much time left. The millennium Bug is gonna wipe us all off the face of the earth real soon. No, really, ...it will.
I’m not joking; it’s really coming. The four horsemen are adjusting their stirrups and oiling their saddles as I speak. End times my friends, doom, destruction, the final curtain. Aufwiedersehen pet. There is no use the IT department sending reassuring memos round the office. At midnight on December 31st the clock isn’t just going to tick over, it is going to stop ticking altogether. Kaboom and arrividerchi.
How do I know? Well, it stands to reason doesn’t it.
Can it really be a coincidence that the ancient Mayans, St John the Divine, Pope Leo IV, Mother Shipton, Nostradamus and my Auntie Nellie[1] have all pinpointed the end of the world to within the next seven years. Call me hysterical, but I saw all four Omen movies and little Damien Van Horne looked a lot like a young Bill Gates. They call it a ‘bug’ and give it a logo and nobody seems to worry any more. “Don’t get worked up”, they say, “its not a big problem.” Well forgive my cynicism, but isn’t Ebola just a bug too. You get a bit of that in your fridge and people start to worry all right.
You could try to take precautions against the Millennium bug. No, no, don’t try to fix all the millions of computer chips that control every aspect of your existence. That would be a futile waste of time. You have to invest your time wisely. A government official has gone on record as saying it might be wise to stock up on some tinned goods, just in case there are some short-term disruptions to deliveries as a result of the millennium bug. Now I don’t know about you, but when I hear a junior minister recommend a spot of panic buying, its time to get the brown trousers out. We need survival tactics. Firstly, the biggest problem come midnight on New Year’s Eve will be the planes and satellites dropping from the skies in their thousands. I recommend a really hard hat and a thick coat to protect you from unforeseen debris such as fragments of red-hot engine casing. Staying indoors might be a good idea, although people who currently live in Windsor[2] might want to consider visiting family and friends elsewhere.
Even the guys in the office are at it. Have you heard of the ‘Business Recovery Plan’? The big guys in sharp suits are auditing everyone to find out what steps we could take to keep the business running in the event of an undefined catastrophe (forgive my cynical italics). Innocent questions like, “Could you work from home?” “Would you need a phone?” “Do you have access to a supply of bandages and Geiger counters?” The boys and girls at head office are sitting around in life rafts drawing lots for who gets to eat whom first. I say we should join them. Lets forget all this stiff upper lip stuff and endulge ourselves in a health bout of blind panic and terror.
I was having a quiet panic attack about all this the other day, so I went to see a friend called Graham who is involved with a Church group.[3] He explained it all clearly. Apparently, we are in for about eight months of real unpleasantness as the Satanic Beast flexes his powers of destruction. About 10,000 people will get ‘The Rapture’ which is where they get sucked up to heaven by a giant hoover for ringside seats to watch the rest of us get medieval on each other until the whole planet is engulfed in a wave of pestilence, bestiality, evil, sickness and horror. To quote Graham directly, “There will be great wailing and gnashing of teeth and terrible noises which chill the soul ...”, which kind of brings me back to Robbie Williams doesn’t it …
Chris
[1] My Grandad’s sister who famously predicted the Belgian invasion of the Isle of Man in 1942.
[2] Heathrow Airport, Runway 2b Approach Run Alpha…need I say more?
[3] I say Church group, but they do get a listing in a book called “ Secret Cults and Societies in the United Kingdom.” For some bizarre reason, Graham is proud of this.
MILLENIUM
Whenever Robbie Williams sings, “we’ve got stars directing our fate,” I come over all homicidal. My skin starts to crawl. I get a sudden urge to grab that microphone and shove it somewhere unprintable. That would give the little fresh-faced, scallywag, pop-meister something to really cry to the angels about.
But perhaps I should be more charitable, because after all, there isn’t much time left. The millennium Bug is gonna wipe us all off the face of the earth real soon. No, really, ...it will.
I’m not joking; it’s really coming. The four horsemen are adjusting their stirrups and oiling their saddles as I speak. End times my friends, doom, destruction, the final curtain. Aufwiedersehen pet. There is no use the IT department sending reassuring memos round the office. At midnight on December 31st the clock isn’t just going to tick over, it is going to stop ticking altogether. Kaboom and arrividerchi.
How do I know? Well, it stands to reason doesn’t it.
Can it really be a coincidence that the ancient Mayans, St John the Divine, Pope Leo IV, Mother Shipton, Nostradamus and my Auntie Nellie[1] have all pinpointed the end of the world to within the next seven years. Call me hysterical, but I saw all four Omen movies and little Damien Van Horne looked a lot like a young Bill Gates. They call it a ‘bug’ and give it a logo and nobody seems to worry any more. “Don’t get worked up”, they say, “its not a big problem.” Well forgive my cynicism, but isn’t Ebola just a bug too. You get a bit of that in your fridge and people start to worry all right.
You could try to take precautions against the Millennium bug. No, no, don’t try to fix all the millions of computer chips that control every aspect of your existence. That would be a futile waste of time. You have to invest your time wisely. A government official has gone on record as saying it might be wise to stock up on some tinned goods, just in case there are some short-term disruptions to deliveries as a result of the millennium bug. Now I don’t know about you, but when I hear a junior minister recommend a spot of panic buying, its time to get the brown trousers out. We need survival tactics. Firstly, the biggest problem come midnight on New Year’s Eve will be the planes and satellites dropping from the skies in their thousands. I recommend a really hard hat and a thick coat to protect you from unforeseen debris such as fragments of red-hot engine casing. Staying indoors might be a good idea, although people who currently live in Windsor[2] might want to consider visiting family and friends elsewhere.
Even the guys in the office are at it. Have you heard of the ‘Business Recovery Plan’? The big guys in sharp suits are auditing everyone to find out what steps we could take to keep the business running in the event of an undefined catastrophe (forgive my cynical italics). Innocent questions like, “Could you work from home?” “Would you need a phone?” “Do you have access to a supply of bandages and Geiger counters?” The boys and girls at head office are sitting around in life rafts drawing lots for who gets to eat whom first. I say we should join them. Lets forget all this stiff upper lip stuff and endulge ourselves in a health bout of blind panic and terror.
I was having a quiet panic attack about all this the other day, so I went to see a friend called Graham who is involved with a Church group.[3] He explained it all clearly. Apparently, we are in for about eight months of real unpleasantness as the Satanic Beast flexes his powers of destruction. About 10,000 people will get ‘The Rapture’ which is where they get sucked up to heaven by a giant hoover for ringside seats to watch the rest of us get medieval on each other until the whole planet is engulfed in a wave of pestilence, bestiality, evil, sickness and horror. To quote Graham directly, “There will be great wailing and gnashing of teeth and terrible noises which chill the soul ...”, which kind of brings me back to Robbie Williams doesn’t it …
Chris
[1] My Grandad’s sister who famously predicted the Belgian invasion of the Isle of Man in 1942.
[2] Heathrow Airport, Runway 2b Approach Run Alpha…need I say more?
[3] I say Church group, but they do get a listing in a book called “ Secret Cults and Societies in the United Kingdom.” For some bizarre reason, Graham is proud of this.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Ego tripping
Have you checked out http://www.morepopularthanjesus.com/ where you can find out whether you are more popular than jesus or not?
Try it, then, as the site puts it, go find a god botherer and tell em all about it.
Try it, then, as the site puts it, go find a god botherer and tell em all about it.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Farewell Crocodile Botherer
Too too easy to laugh at the tradgic loss of Steve Irwin. He leaves a family in mourning... and a hell of a lot of reptiles and sharks feeling pretty smug.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Cider
With apples getting ripe I did some investigation into making cider. All we need is to pulp the apples, strain the juice in a muslin bag and then leave the stuff alone for 3 months. Isn't nature wonderful.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
OneStopEducation.co.uk - Dazzle Plus
OneStopEducation.co.uk is selling off copies of Dazzle Plus for just £9.99 each.
Dazzle Plus is a great art program for primary school pupils.
Dazzle Plus is a great art program for primary school pupils.
Monday, March 27, 2006
OneStopEducation.co.uk - Literacy Activity Builder
We are going to try a google ad campaign to promoteOneStopEducation.co.uk - Literacy Activity Builder which is a great whiteboard resource for teachers. Doing the claculations to work out how much we can spend per click and still make a profit is a useful reminder of the importance of stats in marketing.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Taj Exotica Maldives ,review
Taj Exotica Maldives ,review seen posted on a travel website. I then looked for photos. This island is my dream and I HAVE to visit.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Granada Learning software
I have it on good authority that Granada learning are going to stop selling some of their older educational software titles so look out for bargains on OneStopEducation.co.uk - Educational Resources
sunrisesolar.co.uk - Home
sunrisesolar.co.uk - Home is alex lockton's latest assult on the planet. Good on him. A bit more environmental awareness is always welcome
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Very Cheap Flights
Very Cheap Flights seems a splendid idea... At first.
However I was wondering about the environmental impact of cheap air travel. If we added the cost of cleaning up however many gazillion tones it is of carbon into the atmosphere to the cost of a flight, whether affordable, let alone cheap air travel would end?
However I was wondering about the environmental impact of cheap air travel. If we added the cost of cleaning up however many gazillion tones it is of carbon into the atmosphere to the cost of a flight, whether affordable, let alone cheap air travel would end?
Monday, March 13, 2006
Making Money from websites
Making Money from websites is a simple thing. Making a fortune less simple. Most who try sit at the simple end and few at the other. The rest of us who are making some money from our websites sit in the middle and acknowledge it to be a fine place with wonderful views on both sides. We can look back to where we have been and forward to where we are going; as soon, that is, as we get of our butts and get to work.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Joe's Garage
When I typed in Joe's Garage I was hoping to find a frank zappa site. I thought I might find a mechanic, but no, its a burger bar in Minneapolis. If I ever visit minneapolis (if I ever find out where minneapolis is) I will make sure and visit this gastronomic pick of the pack.
Phenylketonurics - Contains Phenylalanine!
I have been wondering about that Phenylketonurics warning on diet coke cans. Well now i know why they advise that the can - Contains Phenylalanine. A new thing every day is apparently good for the brain.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Luxury Hotels of London
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Luxury London Hotels such as the Kensington Edwardian Hotel Situated in one of the most fashionable residential areas
Cheap London Hotels dont get a look in. We have large range for you to choose from, many at great prices on Luxury Hotels in London, offers the very best London Hotels. Book your London hotel online from home. London hotels are special places to stay on your vocation. The city of London has so much to offer and a bit of comfort at the end of a day's exploration is a great way to unwind.
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luxury hotels london
luxury hotels london website brings you information about top london hotels. London offers the best hotels for accomodation purposes. The top London hotels provides the best forms of accomodation. we dont offer Online hotels reservation, but simply tell you all about 5-star hotels and accomodation.
Come and visit luxury hotels london:
Luxury London Hotels Hotel England
Luxury London Hotels such as the Kensington Edwardian Hotel Situated in one of the most fashionable residential areas
Cheap London Hotels dont get a look in. We have large range for you to choose from, many at great prices on Luxury Hotels in London, offers the very best London Hotels. Book your London hotel online from home. London hotels are special places to stay on your vocation. The city of London has so much to offer and a bit of comfort at the end of a day's exploration is a great way to unwind.
Luxury Hotels in London | Quality Accommodation in the centre of town: for a wide range of quality luxury accommodation in London London hotels part of The Big Travel Company Navigation Home London Hotels London Hostels Special Offers London …
Luxury Hotels in London - realtime instant booking for Luxury London …
Five Star Hotels in London from £120 per room. Realtime instant booking for Luxury London hotels, instant email confirmation. Hotels throughout london, UK & Europe Hotels in London from £100 per …
London hotels, all London hotels, discount and luxury London hotels …
in all London hotels,luxury, discount hotels in London to luxury 5 star hotels London.
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Friday, January 20, 2006
Whale spotted in central London
BBC NEWS | England | London | Whale spotted in central London and my wife is on Westminster bridge right now, phoning through the ocassional update. I am so gutted at having to stay in the office.
I have decided that we will go on a whale watching holiday this year no matter what.
I have decided that we will go on a whale watching holiday this year no matter what.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Gifts for Men
With a birthday fast approaching I have been checking out the Gifts for Men website. I want toys!
Hilton Kensington London
I have been staying at the Hilton Kensington London for a few days. Peeling paintwork in my room and cracked tiles in the bathroom are not what I expected from the Hilton Group.
Simulation Explorer
Congratulations to Granada Learning on winning the Bett award for Simulation Explorer.
This great introduction to Science Simulations won the award for best primary science software at the 2006 BETT awards on Wednesday night in London.
This great introduction to Science Simulations won the award for best primary science software at the 2006 BETT awards on Wednesday night in London.
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